The Fountain, New Malden

Punter:'Hi can I have a bottle of house white and 2 glasses please'

Bar Staff; Yes, sure, that'll be �(however much)

Punter takes a seat with her friend and their bottle of wine which they pour into their glasses and take a sip. Bar Staff walks over:

'Are you over 21?'

Punter 'No, I'm 19'

Bar Staff: Sorry, over 21's only' and removes bottle and glasses and doesn't refund the money.

Fair enough, you're thinking but the Bar Staff was 18. Now that's annoying.

25 Apr 2005 14:19

Bar Malden, New Malden

The Manager (The Proclaimer) has perfected the art of scowling at the punters to perfection. None of the bar staff smile but maybe they're sick of The Proclaimer scowling at them too. You have to go upstairs to the toilet which can cause a few problems. Also there's a weird gingerbread smell going up the stairs.......?

25 Apr 2005 14:13

The Royal Oak, New Malden

It's boiling hot in The Oak (the temperature is probably controlled by the Landlord as an incentive for any females to remove some of their clothes)and very smoky. There's a competition that runs every evening, all evening, oh and lunchtime's which is: see if you can attract one of the bar staff's attention and get served. If the Guvnor is serving behind the bar and you are female, you will win. If you are male be prepared for an engaging scowl and possibly a yawn whilst being completely ignored by the female bar staff.

25 Apr 2005 14:07