The Crown Hotel, Chertsey

This pub is charming, has a billiard table in the garden and outdoor meat grilling station, superb idea. Delightfully qaint ethnic landlord. According to my colleague Peter Falk it seems to be the nerve centre for this underground b.o.b
Keep your eyes out for
'Cashmere aka' 'Hubble and peek' aka 'big Hubble in little chertsey' aka 'your round' he is possibly the ring leader and maybe tooled up. One other shady character is a foot soldier called crunt, the only clue on him is that he has a taste for toms - ones who specialise in (a-levels) (ac/dc) (c.i.m) (g.f.e) (o.w.o) (s&m) (tailpipe) (Cleveland steamers) (rainbow kiss) (embergs flying pliers) (felching) (rimjobs) and (tossing the salad)
The other character is a man who goes by, paleface aka ' wagon wagoff' aka 'Ebdon' aka
'king deadly' aka 'ants round' he is the one who organises the venues, fights, weapons.
Anyway I'm off, I am currently investigating why I am six feet under and being eaten by worms!

1 Feb 2011 17:33

The Hand and Spear, Weybridge

Met a man here last night to buy series 2 boon box set, tried to barta with him; swap for my own show - series 1. He told me to "do one" before he snatched the money from me.
Whilst here I could not but help to notice how delightful this place is.
Well done youngs
Three cheers for the bar keep!

30 Jan 2011 22:02

The Vine Inn, Chertsey

this place has seen better days, all boarded up, since the line dancing scene fell on its backside this place has had no signs of life...... however, i have been hired by some vulnerable OAPs to investigate, there have been signs of life there after all, i parked the jag down near flemish fields and galsworthy, not wise, lots of tea leaves, but i didnt want to blow my cover.
with stealth i entered the back door, someone had definately been here recently there seemed to be cashmere stuck on the banister, the place smelt of pah larkins knuckle children, when i walked into the main bar, i could not believe my eyes, i cannot repeat the events what i eventually told the police. absolute depravity. the assailant left some kind of zoomable occular device behind.

i shall endeavour to solve this mystery

18 Jan 2011 17:06

Sullivans, Weybridge

these recent reviews seem to have a criminal element to them, i shall investigate these slurs at once. This pub is simply the best in weybridge, came upon it by accident, my jag broke down outside when i was in pursuit of some tea leaves who nicked loads of wicker baskets from ikea, and i went in originally just to phone green flag. Wow, great night all round, very attractive bar staff, met some of the locals, jolly old bunch of arsenal united soccer fans. must have had weak bladders always of to the gents they were. One of then I think was rambling on about a boat he owned and wandered if I was interested. i explained to him that I dont have sea legs, he stared at me in a deranged yet confused way and became increasingly rampant as the evening progressed.anyway ignore the other reviews. This place is delightful

11 Jan 2011 17:27