BITE user comments - badgerballs
Comments by badgerballs
The Faltering Fullback, Finsbury Park
Has a smug self-knowingness about it all. Gets really packed with beret endorsing north London trendies, all wearing scarves in the summer ffs. Beers like Stella and Staropramen add to the unoriginality of it all. Nobody ever has cash when paying for a �Sex in Prison� cocktail, they pull their plastic out every time, never thought I'd long for some Harry Ramp counting out a "day's begging" worth of foreign coins to pay for his triple Teacher's & Meths chaser. Always seem to end up in the main thoroughfare of those sprinting to the washrooms for a double flusher, resulting in most of my pint spilling down the enhanced boobs of some rake-thin, record producer�s other half�..
15 Jul 2009 16:39
Leyton Orient Supporter's Club, Leyton
It has the best lower divisions toilets in the world. One can gamble on dumping freely without worry of some cockney wee attaching itself to one's bottom. The beer is fruity, just like the men. I cruise there most Saturdays and pick up plenty of hunks.
5 Aug 2008 16:52
Regarded as one of the closest pubs to Buckingham Palace, the Kings Arms has a few skeletons in its cupboard. It is frequented by fresh off duty Palace Guards. They say that the black helmets they wear are made from bear skin; well I saw a few bare-skinned helmets in the gents! Those bogs are the bumming capital of the world. Also, being a dragon of St George does not grant you licence to chase the dragon. The amount of tin foil and needles in the urinals is a disgrace!
16 Oct 2007 17:13
This pub is the setting for the Hollywood Movie Saw V. It is populated with toothles cockney scum who have scarlet, alcohol faces, and that's before I tell you about the men. If one raises their voice it makes heads turn, if said yelling yob catches their eye, he'll say "what you bogging at you cnut?". Lots of pregnant teens chain smoking outside and major drug deals going down. There is a family area where Stickey Wicket sings inaudible songs in his sweet, throat cancer tones. He usually finishes his renditions by collapsing onto a table of slops.
12 Oct 2007 16:09
Cheap bear, but full of weather-baten women who've been round the block more times than you've wolfed pot-noodle. The gent�s toilets have that concentrated wee smell that napalms your taste-buds. After visiting said loos your pint tastes of the son of a thousand urinations.
Benefits include; getting to know the bouncers. If you do befriend one, he'll eventually waive the �2 entrance fee but proceed to discuss apocalyptic violence. Don't stand near the band, it's not pleasant downing a Caffrey's with guitar feedback nuking your eardrums!
21 Sep 2007 11:20
The Goldengrove, Stratford
Had quite a pleasant night in here with chums - until I ventured to the lav. I usually brace myself for the 12-inch thick waft of stale Monday club wee, but what I encountered was far worse. A gent from overseas origin was hogging the sinks with his array of �pour homme� fragrances. I thought this poor homo (me) has to now avoid washing his postpiss hands or be subjected to a base exchange about targeting the wetness between women�s thighs with a new found �get jiggy with it� whiskey courage. My whole night was ruined, knowing that the khazi was now out of bounds thanks to the shudder inducing presence of a lecherous bog troll. Hang your heads in shame Wetherspoons, take this middle-leg cut-eyeing upstart off the payroll and let punters arc their Fosters in peace.
10 Feb 2012 17:29