BITE user comments - andy_kilometrepork
Comments by andy_kilometrepork
Message for the tinker bros: are we including this pub in the crawl, who is organising the crawl, the poormans steve macfadden lookalike who fancies shines tells me he has a laminated itinerary. I have not received mine in mail. I heard that one of you is scared of going in here? Is there any truth to this
Big Hubble in little Chertsey- is it u who's trembling?
28 Mar 2011 14:23
Message for the tinker bros: are we including this pub in the crawl, who is organising the crawl, the poormans steve macfadden lookalike who fancies shines tells me he has a laminated itinerary. I have not received mine in mail. I heard that one of you is scared of going in here? Is there any truth to this
Big Hubble in little Chertsey- is it u who's trembling?
28 Mar 2011 14:23
This place always gives me a free jagershot if I bring in a few lady punters.
They all love a length of Andy's pork when they are corked at Porkys!
28 Mar 2011 13:00
right the crawl is on, leave your work chatter at home boys, im not on the brassing clock neither, so hands off boon
23 Feb 2011 14:15
Well the bills are due, so the plan was to start last night; mega brassing weekend at the ship. Room all paid for, just finished checking in, good job I hadn't put on my crotchless wetsuit, old Elphick rolled on in tripping over his trousers which were torn at both ankles and covered in turds, blood and other pungent glandular based fluids. I tried to catch him as he fell to floor, I asked him what he was doing here of all places? Turns out it was the closest place to his flat that was open, he ran out of turps and meths! He kept to his feet and before collapsing again had remarkably managed to theif a bottle of famous grouse from behind bar.
I asked him what was wrong. He then launched into a single malt diatribe about how his ship had sailed and that boat and brasses don't mix. As the concierge dragged him out he screamed
"when orange fizzes it's Fanta!
28 Jan 2011 13:23
Went here for an audition, they had all sorts of competition, one guy had his windsock filling a pint glass! Only semi semi. Another guy had thirteen canaries standing on his...
To be fair the thirteenth canary was standing on one leg, but still! Hats Off. But the gloves would be off when they see my kilometrepork, Didn't realise they had a female brass section, so i killed some time had a look whats new in their division, couldn't believe my eyes, nightmare! Saw old Ebdon and the Moobed clown. At first I was worried they would see me in my brassing gear, but they were both too busy fighting over some shine who was on the stage, both shoving 5 euro notes down her drawers. Cheapskates!
Anyway got the job. Start on Monday the W.I are looking for a resident man brass. Apparantley there old one had a nervous breakdown.
11 Jan 2011 15:29
Good pub, although on christmas day, while it was open, went for a nose around upstairs in the function room.. Couldn't Believe my eyes, saw that big welsh landlord stuffing a big bird on one of the tables
"who am I?" he screamed repeatedly
Holly giblets!
31 Dec 2010 16:33
Love this pub, went in on boxing day with my mate Ebdon, we both pulled a few crackers if you know what I mean, great staff, not bad prices, they had one of those clowns there trying his best to entertain the locals with his balloon animals, he wouldn't shut up, disaster, apart from that good afternoon out. Back to London tonight for some man-brassing, got to pay the bills.
27 Dec 2010 13:29
well its christmas eve, and as usual i will be meeting up with my chertsey rabble. i love this pub. always great night out here, cant wait to meet up with old mates such as the tinker brothers and the brothers johansson and maybe muscle popping super copping dc welcome. owe alot to him he turned a blind eye to my shinanigans
24 Dec 2010 15:40
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The Kingfisher, Chertsey
2nd April, 12.30pm
End of days
This will be as civilised as the day gets
One round
One round only
And then to the boathouse
28 Mar 2011 14:52