Essex Arms, Brentwoodback to pub details please note - reviews on this site are purely the opinion of site visitors, so don't take them too seriously.
A few of us had several post football pints in this large pub that’s very handy for the station.
Even though I lived in Brentwood for 18 months I never ever drank here. Looks like it’s had a bit of a make over recently, the bar area is large & open plan with several high tables and stools by the window opposite the bar.
6 hand pumps with 5 ales, good selection of local and national brands, my pints of Brentwood Brewery Blonde @ 3.8% were all very good.
Juke box on playing some very decent music, several locals in a large group near the bar and apart from our group of 6 the pub was empty, apart from the very chatty and friendly bar man
Nice enough pub
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diary of a reinsurance broker from brentwood
6am: unleash bowel movement , purging yesterdays cocaine, lager and sweet meats.
6.30am: get up/shower/power wank ..thereby processing remaining toxins down the plug hole
6.45am: violent argument with wife
7 am: no time for breakfast , off to work!!
7.45 am: toilet, wank , capaucino
8am : work!! push papers around, stare at screen , tap pen on teeth, toilet, wank.
1oam :pretend to read 'lloyds list'
11am : 'strategy 'meeting with other 'non marine facualty specialists', , in reality alcoholics all shaking like the drunken bakers in 'viz'.
item one, agenda one , priority one ..liase to meet in drakes wine bar or the english club 11.45am
11.40am: pick up folders and with the determined look of east german sprinter marlies goher, stride purposefully to the 'market' with durans 'hungry like the wolf' ringing in your head. eager for new business....
11.42am: simply decide against the exciting new buisness venture of going to see some cunt in his 'box' head straight for 'drakes' in leadenhall market.
11.45am. meet with other 'non marine facualty specialists' to discuss covering each others arses, if it all gets on top.
12.15pm: thoughts turn to the kibble and where we take our custom today.
will it be 'wraps', 'bar bed' , the counting house, the elephant or the wine lodge.(descisions descisions!!
1pm: time to take the show on the road!!: press buzzer to gain entry into bar bed's gentlemens club upstairs behind reinforced fire door.
1.01pm: time to mingle!!. associate with 'colourful' collection of junkys, theives, bullys, cunts,pimps, whores and reinsurance brokers.
4.30pm: leave establishment ripped to the tits and £2OO Lighter, but in possession of the life giving elexier that is the kibble. scurry' golem ' like to lloyds of london for an appointment with inaminate object 'the lutine bell'
4.45pm: 'rap' with bob the pristine yeoman at the entrance , of lloyds, cunted , like a long lost brother(making a mental note to ignore him the next day, if i survive the next 24 hours)
5pm: leave bob crying/scared and go to meet broker for my 2.30pm appointment
5.o2pm: wank in bogs, really unloading a pootle of gear in a prolonged orgasm due to being on the kib all afternoon.
5.11pm.... miss my 2.30pm appointment and express my apologies. my nans dying of 'testicular cancer 'or something
5:15pm ..'lunch ' more kibble and more pints in leadenhall market. discuss exciting new opportunities within a growing market with other 'specialists'
5.45pm..return to office. pack up leave.may 'jimmy' open the petty cash box and point the finger at the african cleaners...after all 'my word is my bond'
5.55pm..in to the wine lodge , more cocaine, more pints, more disscussion on pornography
7pm..asked to leave by management, quick inventory reveals dangerously low stock levels of kib ie 1/2 a grm. reorder critical.i repeat reorder critical!!
8pm..leave the counting house restocked..phew!!!1
8.15..in the cheshire cheese, reminiscing with other 'specialists' about our brave comrades that have fallen by the wayside and now live above a pet shop in a bedsit in tooting/eltham/basildon. either estranged from their wife and children or dead.
8.15pm to 11pm : have a fucking good laugh about the above 'fallen'. cunts.
10.15pm: time for home!!!. ring estranged ex colleagues wife on train home , wired to fuck, with propositions of a sexual nature, realise you have in fact rung your sister, but continue anyway.
11pm just in time to get a top of cocaine from colourful characters in the essex arms or to ring the travelling community to pop a gram round, phew!
12.25: home time!!!, throw dinner in bin have violent argument with wife, spend a night of fitful sleep on the sette in suit, waiting to do it all again!!
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Excellent food ...had the burger n chips it was fab. Thumbs up I'd defiantly come again :)
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This little pub does a wonderful Sunday roast. Nothing fancy just very good food.
Nice fresh veg selection cooked to perfection. Kate & I thoroughly enjoyed the meal and the beer was good as well.
If you fancy having a good ale and a lovely Sunday lunch , then put this place on your list.
Regards to all Dave N Kate
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Went back there today, and all of my expectations lived up to the mark, had the best Sunday lunch ever, real roast potatoe's, homemade yorkshire puddings, and the Beef was to die for, 2 pints of Doom Bar, sunday papers and the fottie on the big tv's was great.
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Had Sunday lunch! The food was really nice... Completely fresh and was delicious... Best roast we have had out in ages... The staff are really welcoming and friendly and we would definitely come back for food again... Don't know what the Essex arms was like before but it's refurb is indeed very nice...
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Worth a visit after the impressive March 2012 make-over. Comfy seats, new loos etc. Choice of five or six real ales including Doombar and five draft lagers, including my favourite, Carling. Wine list on each table.
Not sure about the food, but if the free sandwiches with the Quiz on Sunday are anything to go by, then it should be good!
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Best pub in brentwood. Great atmosphere day or night. Had Sunday lunch in there for the first time and really enjoyed it. Well done to Mike and his team for setting a great standard in hospitality
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I visited this pub a few times over the years, and I must say it now has the WOW factor. They have had a majour refurbisment and what a fantastic job they have done, It looks stunning as you walk up from the Station, new toilets, furniture and faboulous colours on the walls, gone is the dredfull pool table (hooray) funky seating, windows you can see out and in from, a great Sunday Homemade lunch, food available all week. six real ales including Doom bar, london pride, Courage best, Breakspear, Youngs bitter and greene king IPA, , an extnsive range of Lagers and ciders. A special range of some fantastic whiskies, Gin and Vodka's not to mention the Naga Chilli Vodka challenge. Full Sky tv pacage showing all the majour sporting events An outside Patio area with an out door TV. The Seaxe bar looks stunning with picture's of some of the greats in the music world and instuments on the walls. The atmosphere is really freindly and the bar service great. If you have not been yet I would well reccomend it. Great Pub.
Shoey - 26 Mar 2012 11:13 |
haven't been in this pub for years, but popped in the other night with some mate's. We couldn't Believe how busy it was, The Beer and The real ale were on top form and the staff were friendly and went out their way to make are visit enjoyable, we ended up talking to the new landlord Mike who was very friendly and really knows his stuff. we look forward to going back real soon or even to see one of the bands that play there, it's one to watch!!!
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Most unwelcoming locals only pub around
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Near the station for a swift half, nothing much else going for it
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Now known as the SMS.
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Popped in and had a guinness last week which was average now called the sex arms apparently according to the lettering outside.
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The present landlords are just so full of life. They spend a lot of time and the rest of the staff working to make people feel good to be there. They try different ranges of beer and have built up a great music base through out the week, which is in a separate room, so you can sit and have a drink and chat or go and listen to music
Helen - 21 Jan 2007 16:55 |
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