please note - reviews on this site are purely the opinion of site visitors, so don't take them too seriously.
Bring back Ali, the place has not been the same since she was sacked for having a cold.
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Oh Dear Gordooon has done a runner! Pub is now back in the hands of anyone willing to help!!
Role your sleeves up and dig in its the Pendry Lottery!
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What's going on now!! Are Gordon & Helen staying or going? Thought they were doing OK considering the general lack of customers. Still got the darts teams and bar billiards team and the Friday nite singalong!!
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Ooops. Ignore last post. It seems to be a misunderstanding or misinterpretation or something. Keep it up Gordon !!
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Have a lie down JP and speak for yourself - from no. 11. We shall be in this fine pub tonight.
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1. Marcus and Nicki
2. Little Ali
3. Trevor and Mel
4. Chris And Alan
5. Wayne And Tracey
6. Nick Whelan
7. Natalie
8. Errin
9. Chewbacca And Lee
10. Geoffrey Brown
11. Greg And Gemma
12. Richard and Sharon.
13. Gordon and Helen.
Apparently this time its all about the lack of customers. Well, there will be one or two less dart teams to start with. Now we shall see how the professionals go about getting bums on seats and how to keep them there. !! At least the ceiling is clean.
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Apparently we have lost a few regular customers to the Walmer Castle - boo!!!!!
It would seem that there was an incident with the girl behind the bars toothless boyfriend and they all decided to go else where?????!!!!! She was also spotted snogging him when she should have been serving drinks?? Whatever next!!!!!!! Perhaps they should have just said "excuse me love, if you've finished we like to be served", or perhaps they could have just told the gummy bloke to f*** off if he was annoying them. Problem now is that the takings are down (again!!). Well if the pub shuts these so called regulars can take the blame because by walking instead of sorting they have added another nail in the coffin.
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Popped in for a drink and all seemed much the same. Same old farts at the bar - same faces behind the bar - ladies darts match going on - and everyone seemed happy enough. Give the new managers a chance you lot!!!!
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My psychotherapist says I'm not fat, just mellowing around the middle.
And if you missed anything untoward happening it your tough tittie.
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John pertwee is definitely not a regular, must be one of the fat cunts down the end whose husband can't get an excuse me!!
No man would use that name as an alias, mind you I'm sure the gummage comes in there somewhere!! Lol
So what happened the other night I missed it?
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In the resulting celebrity trial, Santa is exonerated on the grounds of temporary insanity caused by a recent brain tumour. But he still has no idea if he did kill Trade, and is desperate to find out. Haunted by what appears to be his bizarre night-time actions, Santa is shocked when another Old Boozer is discovered dead, murdered in the same way as Trade. Trying to clear his name and understand what is happening to him, Santa enlists the help of a tame forensic stockist, a sympathetic PI and his staunch friend DD who has helpful underworld connections, and an over-confident secretary. Can Santa discover what happened that night and unmask the real killer.
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You people are being really nasty to our pub. You should support your local by coming in every day and spending all your money. This pub is part of the communiyt and deserves respect. If the owners want to sack the managers every year or so its up to them. Any way, just because they are low paid and have to live in a decrepit hovel, doesn't mean they can steal the beer and spirits. If you worked in an office you wouldn't spend your employers time sending private e-mails, would you. If you don't like it you should find somewhere cleaner and cheaper, busier and more pleasant. SO THERE.
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Ha ha heard a rumpus occurred what happened ?
I have been informed gobby fat one was envolved?
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I don't suppose there is any chance of free drinks now or smoking after hours.
The stolen meat and coffee, and copied DVDs will be given the boot as well.
At least we can still shoot up in the bog , you wont get caught as nobody ever goes in there to clean. Toodle pip.
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Fucking joke I have made the effort after dinner to pop in for the quiz and there is only 4 of us here, I'm off down the road for a pint fuck you pendry, where are you interest In your clients, I feel sorry for the girl with the 3 pregnancys behind the bar!
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Lol this is getting funny now!! Oi face fungus im not gobby just fat!
Dont start gobbing off on here cocker introduce yourself !!
Meet me between the urine stained fireplace and the stolen telly from the Cuthbert, its an alley way about 300mm wide next to the overloaded pug socket!
Wear you gang colours bruvvvvvvvvaaaaaaaaaa!
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That pub feels like that scene out of the matrix, where there growing humans as a form of energy, except the only person benefitting is mr John William pendry. Ha ha
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Why thank you for your approval, young rapscallion ye; the large gobby bloke who looks like Chris Moyles is in fact a south american mamal known as a honey bear.
Won't belong before we're leaving this little nest - in more ways than one - our new electronic home is all shiney and we can play the games we want to and stay up dead late ......
Mwhahahahahahah ... Major Lee Hoodwinked
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That's very funny young lady!
What's the large gobby blokes name?, he looks like chris moyles?
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Popped in their yesterday after reading the updates on here, glad to see the reviews are right, what's happened? No atmosphere and to get served you have shout? Is the lady behind the bar deaf?
I myself will be sad when this pub goes which it will do on yesterday's performance, do they have the same stock problems at the other pub's they have does anyone know?
Be interesting if they have?
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Well didn't you just know this would happen. I hope the stock taker is proud of himself. Yet again accepted his usual bribe and got rid of probably the most successful managers in a long time. Mr Pendry & co should be ashamed. Not only does this affect peoples livelihoods it also affects us regular customers who have supported this pub through thick & thin. If only one of those sacked by the Pendry clan had paid for their own stocktaker before they left then both Pendry and his lackeys would be on trial for fraud!!! What sort of a business is he running. This pub could be an absolute goldmine and Richard & Sharon proved that you can still take money even when many pubs are closing. Forget the history of the pub (we know it was John & Sue Pendry's first pub) and sort out this sorry mess!!!!!
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Well then, what next. Shall we have a whip round for Santa's spring bonus. There are plenty of websites offering quick loans. Lurch & co will need one pretty soon as the next stock check will be down by about �500. The stock was down even when the secretary was in charge. What next? The sorry saga continues.
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Whats 6" long and hangs in front of an ars@hole ?
Pendrys tie.
I mean what a total cock, the best thing going for the mont in years, and the same old story. When will he learn.
So short sighted.
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Remembrance Sunday
We are gathered here to remember the fallen of the past, who gave up their lives and good reputations for the benefit of the all-consuming Pendry Machine ...
1. Marcus and Nicki
2. Little Ali
3. Trevor and Mel
4. Chris And Alan
5. Wayne And Tracey
6. Nick Whelan
7. Natalie
8. Errin
9. Chewbacca And Lee
10. Geoffrey Brown
11. Greg And Gemma
and now
12. Richard And Sharon
Bow your heads in silent prayer for a moment and remember. Then grit your teeth and churn your guts to produce the most acidic paint stripping bile you can produce and spit it in the directions of the biggest fat fuck fuzzy faced fiddler this side of the Downs.
Yes, his paid lackey has once again accepted his 40 pieces of silver and worked his magic with the stocksheet and the best landlord and landlady at The Mont for years have been driven out, despite the place being packed out most nights of the week.
Well he's got his stake money for The National now - enjoy.
I always fancied a house up Brangwyn but if this is what it takes you can shove it up your fat fucking arse - or get Malcolm to do it for you.
Yours sincerely ... Major Hoodwinked
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Well fucking well, Richard and Sharon have gone, and guess what the stock was short and money gone missing!
How familiar is that song!
Wont be long now till the doors are locked for good on that place. they got some shit behind the jump in there now,
Will they sort it out, probably not!!!
MMMwwwwwwwaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha
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The bent stock taker is doing his rounds again then eh!!!
Well theres a fuxxing surprise.
It happens everytime someone decent takes over, I reckon we should plan a boycott of the pub for a week or two and teach them a lesson, I'm serious on this one.
It takes the absolute piss out of the people running the pub and the customers drinking in it, and now the Sky Sports is going!!!!, the only thing that needs to go is the owners of the pub.
They could be sitting on a little gold mine there if they sat up and paid attention to whats going on, I fully appreciate the is a lot of history in the pub, but business is business sort it out!!!!
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Heard that the owner is up his usual tricks with the dodgy stocktaker!!!! Let's hope Richard & Sharon don't walk away as they are the best thing that's happened to this pub in years.
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Everything going well at the Montreal. Richard & Sharon have done a good job creating a friendly and inviting atmosphere. Still needs a make over though!! The pub is thriving again, against the odds in these days of no smoking and higher prices. But we all have a good time despite the neighbours from hell!!!!
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Great place for a gum job!
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Just had time to pop into this wonderful olde worlde backe streete pube once more. Not only has the wonderful Greg & Gemma left but the resident poofter has been ousted. Not only that but he had been arrested and un-arrested for nicking 6 months takings (�357.55). Good luck to Rychurd and his wonderful family in the comming months of him being at the Mont. I'm sure it will be a wonderful experience and not cause to much upset. I was glad to see the old regulars in all their usual eccentricities. It was wonderful. Still dont get that billiards thing.
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Greg & Jemma now gone - had a baby who is lovely. Jeffrey is now in charge and not doing a bad job. More people coming in which is good. Pub still in need of a major refurb but don't expect that will happen any time soon.
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Pub up for sale yet again! Think that Greg & Gemma should make an offer & take in on themselves. Then they can put their ideas into practice and not be held back all the time.
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Ha ha im back, some blighter has deleted my views!!
Well seeing as no-one has posted an update soon i thought i woulEverything seems to be going well for greg and gemma in all senses of the word ;).
The regulars are in still in tip top shape, although patsy has since moved and now frequents the Chav Tav ( the ranklin lewes road ), young Geoff has now started a full blown homosexual relationship which is great that he has finally come out.
It took alot of " forgetting his keys and being locked out" but the bait worked and the love blossomed!!!!!!!
Apart from that there will be a few drinks this weekend to celebrate Greg and Gemmas 1st anniversary in the khazi Montreal.
Best of luck for the future and ching ching darlings!!!!!!xxxxxxxxxx
P.S sack that other weirdo, the P.C brigade dont like her!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thank God someone has come along to rescue our pub. Greg & Jemma are a fun loving couple who are working hard to get the Montreal back on the map. And it's actually clean!! Even the carpet!! Long may she reign.
Lot's of things up & coming in the next few weeks so let's all enjoy the fun.
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Well bugger me drunk, as we say at the old Mont, if Mr McGreggor isn't right - the old girl is spick and span and gleaming like the camel toe of a virgin maid! All that remains to be done is for the old shag pile to get its face washed and I understand from "The Management" that this is pending.
The process should prove to be something of a spectacle, not unlike Howard Carter's first venture into the tomb of Tutanhamun - all sorts of treasures are bound to be unearthed. Many of my personal posessions have fallen foul to the abyss that is the Montreal carpet - a jacket accidentally knocked from a coatpeg plummeted to the floor, disappeared in a black frothing spume and was transported to the Davy Jones' locker of the pub underlay, never to be seen again.
Local actor Bob (no surname is available) or "one-liner Bob" as he is more commonly known on account of him having had one line in the BBC's first class and sadly missed Sunday Evening soap "Howard's Way" has not been in for his customary dozen house whiskeys for some time. Has he moved on to The Walmer or some other watering hole? Maybe, but I think not. I have another theory. It goes like this. It's a quiet evening in The Mont. Bob shuffles in on his scabby pins and clambers up onto his stool and orders his two fingers of "Glen Campbell" or whatever it's called. The barmaid is distracted by one of the many nutters who pass through. AND THEN IT HAPPENS! Bob's flip-flop falls to the floor. Before he realises that retrieval is impossible, Bob dips an exploratory toe into the whirling black trifle that is the carpet. His flimsy flaky frame is quickly taken by a rip-tide that drags him from the safety of the shallows by the bar and he is sucked down to the grimy depths over by the dart board.
Did this really happen? Who knows. But I for one will not be surprised if Bob's flip-flops are revealed as the grime of time is removed, layer by layer.
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Blimey! The Mont is haunted - it's official. No, I'm not making Beano-type jokes about spirits - the pub has been registered with the British Paranormal Society as being the habitat of "at least one unearthly body". Fact.
Regulars have for a long time been aware of strange changes in temperature and have heard strange grunting noises coming from the stationery cupboard situated near the gentleman's excuse me.
They have been contacted (not via a medium but on the phone) by Virgin T.V.'s own Ghostbusters Yvette Fielding (who was the youngest person ever to present Blue Peter - yes, the one with the dodgy accent and custard coloured hair) and former professional footballer Derek Acorah (I know he sounds and carries on like a bit of a mincer but he used to play footie for Liverpool, under Bill Shankley if you know what I mean. And while we're on about it, what's with that earring - the only bloke I know, of a certain age, that looks cool with an earring is Alfie, and that's because he looks like a pirate). They have asked if they can film a special episode of their spooky old show in our very own Mont - how cool is that. Also some beardy scholars from the University of Los Angeles want to come in and set up some equipment which tests for mysterious entitities - no shortage of them in our dear old grot-box. Ta-ta for now.
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Just came back from a quick pint in the Montreal and thought I could share my thoughts. Met Gemma and Greg for the first time and thought what a happy and contented couple they seem. I hope that thay can make a good go of this old fashioned, neglected and run down backstreet pub. I'm sure it can be made into a pub of charm and character with a bit of hard work. Talking of characters, how many can one pub have. What a serious bunch of nutters. From the wired up german to the foul-mouthed fatty to the guy burried in newspaper. Good luck to Gemma and Greg. Hope to be back soon.
PS. What is that billiards all about then ??
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Hello!
We'd like to introduce ourselves as the new Landlord and Landlady of The Montreal Arms.
We're pleased to say after our efforts over the past few weeks since taking it over the owner has now taken it off the market!!
We are doing as much as we can for this place as it's a beautiful, local, character pub - one of the last remaining few in the area.
Every Saturday between 10am and 2pm we are now doing 'The Full Mont' breakfast (it's huge but I'm not telling you what you'll get you'll have to pop in and see for yourself) ;P Oh and Salivdor don't forget we've got your special food in :)
On Mondays' from 7pm we will be holding a 'Wii Night' Doesn't cost anything but we will have a charity pot ont he side for any donations (we'll be varying the charity from month to month if you have a preference on charity please let us know)
We noticed the grime also, when we first came and have been cleaning since we walked through the door.
When you come in we hope you notice our smiley happy faces and fun attitude!
There will be more changes coming soon to bring this pub back to life.
We have seen some more new faces come in and we'd like to see your return, just pop in and see us, go on just for the one...maybe two...
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Our dear old Mont is in need of some tender loving care. Why is it being left to rot? I agree with Salvador that it has got cleaner in recent weeks but surely someone loves it enough to bring it back to its former glory. The owner has it up for sale and has just reduced the price again for a quick sale. It has always been a traditional locals pub, and it should be kept this way. We don't need it to change we just need it to be loved!!!
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Hello. I thought it was time a gave you an update on the Sticky Mont... I have to admit the old girl has got a bit cleaner - this is down to Georgia the new Mrs. Mopp (and she really is Mrs. Mopp cos her husband is Moppy).
However, a great big lump of masonary fell off the back wall a few months ago, narrowly missing Alfie who was out there rolling a fag. It brought back memories of New Year's Eve 2005 when half the ceiling in the bar fell on us and in our beer.
Then one of the canopies fell off the front window onto a parked car; the canopy is now recouperating in the beer "garden" along with an old toilet - choice!
The good Lord has called time on a couple of the old regulars, but they have been replaced with would-be bullsh**-meisters off our very long waiting list.
We seem to be getting more than our fair share of nutters - there's a pub on every corner around the Mont but these numbnuts seem to gravitate to our little haven in their droves - why?
Also, of late, there appears to be someone with a severe bowel condition which requires serious, urgent medical attention - last Sunday the gentlemen's-excuse-me looked as though someone had filled it to the brim with oxtail soup and then thrown melted chocolate and Marmite at it - I have photographic evidence if required.
So pretty much of a muchness - y'all come back now!
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This is a glorious khazi of a pub. It is a gentleman's refuge from the up it's own a**e world which is edging ever closer to our dear old Mont.
The decor can only be described as "sticky"; the bar is sticky, the tables are sticky, the door handles are sticky ... (you get the idea "sticky").
The locals are a mixed bunch of weather-beaten Stella and Guiness drinkers who revel in the mire of a pub they have chosen to call 'home'. They are friendly, but if you wish to mingle in and join the undead you must be fluent in talking sh**t. The landlady is an enthusiastic bundle of energy who's voice could out-decibel a 747.
P.s. The landlord with the shorts has gravitated down the grimy hill to The Albion.
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Landlord always wears shorts.
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