The Montreal Arms, Brighton

Remembrance Sunday

We are gathered here to remember the fallen of the past, who gave up their lives and good reputations for the benefit of the all-consuming Pendry Machine ...

1. Marcus and Nicki
2. Little Ali
3. Trevor and Mel
4. Chris And Alan
5. Wayne And Tracey
6. Nick Whelan
7. Natalie
8. Errin
9. Chewbacca And Lee
10. Geoffrey Brown
11. Greg And Gemma

and now

12. Richard And Sharon

Bow your heads in silent prayer for a moment and remember. Then grit your teeth and churn your guts to produce the most acidic paint stripping bile you can produce and spit it in the directions of the biggest fat fuck fuzzy faced fiddler this side of the Downs.

Yes, his paid lackey has once again accepted his 40 pieces of silver and worked his magic with the stocksheet and the best landlord and landlady at The Mont for years have been driven out, despite the place being packed out most nights of the week.

Well he's got his stake money for The National now - enjoy.

I always fancied a house up Brangwyn but if this is what it takes you can shove it up your fat fucking arse - or get Malcolm to do it for you.

Yours sincerely ... Major Hoodwinked

27 Mar 2011 14:20