The Essex Serpent, Covent Garden

One of the most dispiriting visits to a pub in my life. The place stunk of fish, the barmaid was surly and disinterested, and a pint of premium lager, weighing in at �4.10, was barely drinkable. There were a number of tourists in the place eating barfood that looked like the chef had concocted from a 70s time warp. A totally soulless boozer and precisely the reason so many pubs close for good each week. Its location probably keeps it going, safe in the knowledge its tourist passing trade will keep it alive since there will be no repeat custom. To cap it all, the promised free wifi turned out to be a nightmare to register and use - all the popular false numbers any sane person would prefer to use rather than their own like 01234567890 and 07123456789 were either illegal or already taken. A nailed on certainty I will never return.

19 Jun 2011 19:55

The Masons Arms, Strawberry Bank

Good pub although I've always considered it a little wanky, or rather some of the clientele with high powered fuel injection cars and loud ra-ra voices provide the wankiness. If you can tolerate this, you'll find the beer and open fire and coziness a treat.

4 Nov 2010 17:37

The Sands, Grange over Sands

Dreadfully dull and lacking atmosphere. Tatty upholstery and poor service. Whilst I was there two very young children were running amok whilst their parents ignored the uproar. Meanwhile a couple of semi-domesticated wolves snarled. The sort of bar (it is not a pub) I would run away from. I did just that.

4 Nov 2010 17:32