The Republic, Beeston

This place is ok for Beeston, and could even be quite good if it was properly managed. Whoever sanctioned having a muted television playing in the background on Friday and Saturday nights is clearly on crack. Nothing detracts sophistication from a wannabe trendy bar more than having Holby city beamed around the room.

They also need to sort out the music in there - I don't think I've heard anything else in there except a NOW album from 1997: there's only so much R Kelly a man can take.

8 Dec 2005 21:08

The Victoria Hotel, Beeston

Granted, the Victoria offers a smorgasboard of fine ales, but I find it hard to swallow anything there due to the suffocating level of smugness that permeates through the pub. Ask for a pint of Carling and you might as well have defecated on the bar by the looks you'll receive from the bar staff, trying vainly to mask their contempt. And you can't move for pretentious middle-class snobs pontificating over the malty nose of a pint of "Bishop's merkin" (insert your own hilarious name), while eating a pack of crisps that costs almost a pound!.

The clientele are such fascists too. Heaven forbid you use a mobile phone in their exalted establishment, or attempt conversation when some God-awful folk band has taken over the whole pub, but you're welcomed with open arms if your army of tawdry and rancid dogs are in tow, slobbering on fellow drinkers with gay abandon.

"Oh, the food's superb" is the oft-heard mantra of the pub's shameless acolytes. But no, it isn't. Ok, so they cook from scratch, but that doesn't give them carte-blanche to charge central London prices for what is, at best, mediocre fare. You won't see me there, I'll be enjoying a Whetherburger over at the Last Post, Join me!

2 Dec 2005 21:33