Boho Bar, Weymouth

I was compelled to visit this bar at the weekend having heard outlandish rumours about a handsome and portly gentleman that turns up occasionally and performs such hair-rising dance moves that men and women alike start frothing at the minge.

I was not disappointed.

The shaggy-faced wonderboy has a pair of ankles that are so fluid, rythymic and manly, approximately seven women fell pregnant on Saturday night alone just from watching him dance. He throws shapes for which there aren�t even names. Apparently even the whiskers of his beard keep perfect time to the music. I asked him if I could mop his brow for him, and when I did I swear his sweat itself smelled like disco. He winked and said �You look like a man in need of a pelvic thrust� and BLAM, he fired his hips at me with such grace, such machismo, that a passing dog collapsed and died. �No big deal� he chuckled, and did a lightning fast leg-wobble over the corpse. THE DOG GOT BACK UP AND STARTED LICKING HIS FACE! And it fell pregnant too.

5 Sep 2011 15:20