The Botley Hill Farmhouse, Warlingham

Hadn't been here in a few years despite living nearby... good views outside and they normally had a couple of local real ales on hand pump, but the food was dreadful and the place was generally treading a fine line between homely and grot... I remember watching rats frolicking in the beer garden. A few years on and I stopped by for a speculative pint one Sunday afternoon and was amazed at the place’s transformation into a fully-fledged gastro-type affair; all whitewashed walls and exposed beams and smartly dressed bar staff. It was HEAVING with diners –I was seemingly the only person there for a drink, and was accordingly treated like something a pariah … I sat down at an empty table but was hurriedly told I couldn’t sit there as it was booked… as were ALL the other empty tables save for one; a high table on a stool, complete with tasteful candle lighting. No area reserved for drinkers. Couldn’t even stand at the bar since it was effectively a thoroughfare for staff carrying plates. Most peculiar. Calls itself a ‘Country Inn’… in no meaningful sense is this now a public house. But for what it’s worth they did have two beers on, both from the nearby Pilgrim Brewery in Reigate: Surrey Bitter and Progress. Hand pumps were out of use though; both were on gravity dispense (?) behind the bar. To my horror/amusement, when I asked for a pint of Progress (£4.10), the barmaid went over to a table by the casks and retrieved for me a 95% pre-poured pint; topping it up the remaining 5%. Absolutely flat as a pancake. I asked how long it had been hanging about…. “Only 10 minutes, if you don’t like it I can always pour you a fresh one”. Most peculiar. They’re clearly trying for something here… but it doesn’t quite seem to work. Admittedly, I didn’t try the food, so can’t comment, and everyone seemed to be enjoying their meals. But at the risk of sounding snobbish, it’s a bit of a second-tier, rather provincial attempt at something that’s already been done-to -death, infinitely better, everywhere else, and is already feeling a bit tired as a concept. They’ve even got a little ‘tea shop’ (‘The Sheep Shed’) next door to the ‘pub’ flogging overpriced ‘artisan’ food and drink. Honestly, I preferred it when there were rats and they had a bizarre line in tribute bands. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.

24 Apr 2016 20:48