The Roebuck, Hampstead

The more I think about our meal in this place the more furious I get.
We booked a table for approximately 15 friends plus five children to celebrate Christmas together on Sunday December 13th at 1pm.
A special festive menu was suggested with choice of turkey, beef, vegetarian all of which we ordered over a week in advance of our visit.
The meal was �19.95 for two courses - more than rival local pubs in the area charge - but as a result we were expecting something extra special for the festive period.
What actually greeted our stomachs resembled prison food.
Four plates of Turkey roll were served first, each accompanied by four lonely brussels sprouts, four carrot batons and three soggy �roast� potatoes.
The portions were mean by any kitchen�s standards but worse was to follow.
Ten minutes after the first meals were served a few more followed in dribs and drabs, this continued for another ten minutes. I finally received my meal a good 20 minutes after the first plate was served.
Eleven had chosen the �roasted rump of west country beef� expecting carved portions of fresh meat.
Each of us received markedly different mains.
My friend Zoe was bestowed with three mini lumps of stewing steak - 70 percent gristle I�d say.
This was, naturally, over cooked and required a mouth gymnast to consume successfully.
My friend Mark on the other hand was the unfortunate recipient of two reformed frozen beef steaks that looked and tasted nothing like nothing else on anybody�s else�s plates.
It was obviously something that had been living at the back of the freezer for months and brought out to make up the numbers.
I felt fortunate to be handed a fillet steak cooked within a minute of charcoal, but fortunate nonetheless.
All eleven meals looked and tasted completely different to each other and the presentation was frankly appalling.
On top of that they were served on a mishmash of plates ranging from the gargantuan serving plates allowing the sparse food items to roll around like marbles or � as in my case � on a child�s plate with a pyramid of overcooked blandness.
And what about gravy I hear you cry? What gravy? Just dry as a bone vegetables and rock hard meat unseasoned plonked in front of us willy nilly.
Roast dinner is not the hardest thing to get right.
I would argue you can order a roast in any pub up and down the country and expect lashings of gravy, parsnips, Yorkshire puddings and � most importantly � fresh meat.
Surely having taken a booking for 20 odd people with specific food requests well in advance somebody could have had the foresight to buy a side of Beef or a small Turkey.
And if the Roebuck�s miniscule kitchen and deliciously-challenged cook cannot cope with delivering 20 meals at once then why take the booking in the first place.
As a local to Hampstead and Belsize Park I can confirm there is a lot of competition for food in the area.
The Garden Gate, The Magdala, The Stag are all within yards of the Roebuck and all serve seriously excellent food while catering for many more guests.
I was wondering why so few punters were eating when we arrived, now I know why.
As part of the two courses I also ordered a cheese board which consisted of a large knob of butter (which many mistook for cheddar), melted chlorine-infused brie and a slab of crusted blue cheese that had been exposed to the air for far too long, plus three stale crackers.
Served on side plates, no garnish, no presentation whatsoever.
Others had the misfortune of choosing the lemon �asbestos� pie which defied description.
This being an opportunity for old friends to celebrate Christmas together we did not complain much at the time but did ask for some free coffee.
Only ten arrived and these were served in a mishmash on cups some with saucers, others sliding about on make-shift plates.
When a large proportion of us finally left the pub having spent at least �27 a head, the few remaining bore witness to another table of diners who had markedly better meals.
Large fancy plates with carved meat, rich gravy, parsnips and other non post apocalyptic veg. This far superior meal people were enjoying was only �11.95 from the regular menu (okay so they didn�t get the chlorine brie on a saucer or asbestos pie).
That�s almost a tenner cheaper than our �special Christmas� meal and let�s face it we�ve all had much better roasts in various pubs for even less.
We spoke to the landlady (Suzanne) to point this out but she was really rather keen on blaming Youngs suppliers who send the precise ingredients for Christmas meals (and no gravy, so we should be thankful for the gravy she managed to rustle up for us).
There are so many great pubs within yards of this establishment, which already has a poor reputation in relation to its competitors.
It�s a shame because this was my first visit here and the d�cor and ambiance seemed pleasant.
Suffice to say my friends and I shall not be returning.

Yours still seething and hungry

18 Jan 2010 15:26