The Osborne View, Fareham

I'd been told about the spectacular vista commanded by the Osborne View and decided to take my wife there for lunch. Prior to visiting I checked on the Internet for directions and came across these reviews which amount to almost universal condemnation of the food and service.

Nevertheless I calculated that if we stuck to the snack menu we would be okay. (When we arrived the view from the bar I'm sure would have lived up to its reputation were it not for the reduced visibility caused by driving rain.)

I ordered baked potatoes for two. After all even the worst kitchen could produce a decent baked potato surely. Wrong. The barman told me that yes, they had baked potatoes, but they pre-cook their potatoes and had left them in the oven for too long and they had 'gone all hard' and so they couldn't be served.

I changed my order to two baguettes (one cheese one chicken). To drink I ordered one pint of Tanglefoot (ale) for me and a coffee for my wife.

Two mouthfuls of the Tanglefoot and I nearly vomited. It tasted of stale vinegar. When I returned with it to the bar the barman, almost gleefully, informed me that I had been served with the very last pint from the barrel (as though this somehow confirmed his excellence as a barman).

He even gave the pump a few pulls to show me that it was just pumping out froth to emphasise his point.

After he had changed the barrel the next pint was not much better, the pipes must be truly filthy. I had a couple more mouthfuls and left the rest.

The baguettes arrived after 35 minutes along with my wife's coffee. The bread was soft and 'chewy' almost as though it was that had been par baked. The generic 'yellow' cheese in mine looked as though it had been broken up with a club hammer. The accompanying chips were virtually cold and looked like they had been reheated and left to get cold.

My wife's 'roast' chicken baguette looked like it had been attacked by a cat and was covered in a sour sauce which rendered the whole soggy concoction utterly inedible.

On the scale of excellence (rather lack of it) this pub goes way beyond bad, past comedically bad; this pub is epically bad, even to the point of being offensive.
The British catering pub trade has done an incredible job of cleaning up its act over the last decade or two. It's a genuine pity that standards as low as those displayed by the Osborne View are tolerated in this day and age.

Were I of a cynical nature I would be tempted to think that the owners of this pub calculate that its location will virtually guarantee that it is well frequented, so why waste money training staff and maintaining quality standards?

12 Nov 2010 18:32