Five Bells, Harmondsworth

Went to this (fairly local) pub for supper this evening after watching Wimbledon, thought we could get something quick and substantial to eat and grab a pint on a particularly hot and sunny evening, what a sad affair!
No Sauvignon Blanc available - until delivery - tomorrow, had some Blossom Hill (probably from local shop at �5.99 a bottle), that was warm and in a dirty glass. Bulmers Pear was also served in a dirty glass.
Chose to sit outside amidst the empty bottles, cans, dog ends, dirty ashtray, paving slabs, dirty used drinking straws and litter; you may wonder why...... we certainly did.
Ordered a cheeseburger - guess what? no burger buns, but was offered a bageutte or sliced white; and scampi + chips. Deep fat fryer probably on overtime as chips a bit anaemic looking. Tables were grubby and uneven, hard to balance a warm glass safely - beware of wood splinters in your arms.
Ladies loo, functional with added cobwebs - is this part of the "olde worlde" charm?
Staff: - ask yourself, having been unable to get a cold glass of white wine served by Sam who wore a rather fetching Tshirt emblazoned with the insignia "pornstar instructor", could our experience get any better..... answers on a postcard to anyone who may be interested.
Managers name is Heather (I add this for anyone who may, just possibly be interested) - frankly am running out of words to describe this adventure, but hey, must be mindful that another couple who were also in the "garden" received one meal 15 minutes before the next, bit sad really if there's only two of you. To be fair, following yesterday's football results, have to ask the question, was "the German" half of the couple penalised because we lost??
Am now losing the will to live, shame really 'cos I w ork for MacMillan - the well known end of life care team, and on this ocassion, am very grateful for my diligent team members, I shall probably need their support tomorrow to revive me.
Word of warning - unless absolutely desperate or end of the world approaching - fast, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EAT AT THIS PUB, you have been warned

28 Jun 2010 22:42