The Hawk, Wickford

The Hawk is, according to its own website blurb, �well known in Battlesbridge and across Wickford as a fine country pub� with freshly prepared food, a great selection of real ales and a diverse wine menu for you to choose from.�

As our family had the misfortune of eating there today I can confirm that this is simply untrue. The Adnam�s ale was drinkable enough, yet the food was inexcusably bad.

After having waited the best part of an hour for our food, we were ravenous, yet three of our party of five had to return their meals as they were just inedible. My own Cornfed Chicken Stuffed With Smoked Bacon dish was let down, firstly, by the notable lack of any bacon, secondly by the fact that a thick skin had formed on the mash in the microwave and finally by the fact that every single element of the meal tasted cold and vile. I didn�t have the heart to mention the lumpy sauce or the deadened, stringy asparagus as I returned it to our waiter, merely hoping the lack of one of the main ingredients and the toughened mash top would explain my unhappy, still hungry face.

As my wife commented at the time, referring to the Goats Cheese and Nut Wellington she and her sister had just returned to the kitchen, �any chef that thinks it okay to serve something like that should be ashamed of themselves.� The item in question resembled some form of vegetarian pie that had been reheated enough times to render it as hard (and as tasty) as a brick. A brick without any gravy on it.

My brother-in-law and nephew were too hungry to re-order and tucked straight into their Sunday lunch (�the beef�s alright, but it�s a bit cold��) and Guinness and Beef Pie (�there�s not much meat in this, is there?�) while I re-ordered myself a beef roast and my wife and sister-in-law went for �seafood pasta�, reasoning that it was pretty damn difficult to go too far wrong with that. They reasoned wrong.

So while I begrudgingly ate my (cold, stringy) beef, with a trimming of toughened roast potatoes and wilting, reheated veg (which reminded me, in a very bad way, of 1970�s school meals) they were treated to small, tasteless portions of seafood pasta. (This is a very easy meal to prepare and cook. I make it at home on a weekly basis. Pack of king prawns, pasta, cr�me fraiche, pesto, garlic � easy, cheap, yummy and feeds a family of four. Or a family of eight - if you are serving �Hawk size� portions).

However, The Hawk�s chef still failed to deliver on a dish that most five-year-olds could turn out with a bit of basic guidance. My wife and sister-in-law each had three prawns served in a starter-size portion of pasta, cooked with �sauce au bland�. A fairly poor highlight to a meal that cost over �7. But by this time they were too hungry and too far past caring to send a second meal back to a chef with little or no quality control.

Being typically English and polite, I mumbled something along the lines of �mmm, it was okay, if a bit cold�� when asked while paying at the bar if things had been fine. They were not fine. They had in fact been the exact opposite of fine. Yet as the staff had showed little interest in our plight throughout, I figured there was little point (and nothing much to be gained) in complaining too much further.

All in all, a great shame. Perhaps they were having an off day, as we had all eaten there before and had all previously enjoyed it. Perhaps, I suggested, it was because we were dining a little too late in the day (hence the reheated, comedy food). But it really doesn�t and shouldn't matter. These are not good enough excuses. If I am paying �8 and upwards for a Sunday roast or in excess of �10 for a main meal in a pub, then at the very least I expect it to be fresh, well-cooked and served to the table in under 45 minutes.

I will not be returning to The Hawk and I would not recommend anybody out there gamble their time and money on this place, as I�m sure there are plenty of other good gastropubs within a fifteen-minute drive radius.

26 Oct 2008 21:33