BITE user comments - oliphant
Comments by oliphant
Hello buddy. What a mare, everyones taken an unexplained powder. Wish someone told me. I got my own unexplained powder to shift, not even elphick is taking the bait! Whilst here I had the fresh fruit kebab, youngs beer battered fish and chips, the delectable sauteed clams and the pork belly.. I was still proper hungry when I left, gave simpsons a knock, went for the family tree meal deal plus eighteen flightless fowl labamba wraps. When I got home I decided to void my bowels. Didn't want any Dutch ovens
talk about the last airbender! Hello buddy!
1 Feb 2011 21:54
I do not believe that jill78 is a real entity, nor do I believe that stoutchappie has genitals, I do believe that children are the future. But that has nothing to do with pub reviews, you two weirdos have made my list, so watch it!
28 Jan 2011 22:40
Hello buddy, Great pub. FANTAstic food, I came here after they chopped a lump out of me. Hello buddy.
28 Jan 2011 21:59
Hello buddy, came here to open the pub, but it's gone. Now what do I do?
Is that a chicken cottage over the road?
Hello buddy.
28 Jan 2011 21:56
Come here to meet my homies, Ebdon and Elphick, I thought we were going to meet in Ebdon's flat... But he always seems to be having his carpets shampooed. Anyway had some more boat specially wrapped as per... Whilst here waiting, I thought I'll order something for the table:
Sixteen bloomin oinions on a bed of eight porterhouse steaks with a blanket of sauteed nut squash,
Yard of butterscotch sauce
"Silence of the lambs" a farmers lively hood sacrificed for my gutty wutts
Stein of advocat......Rumble... Grumble!
That's when my tummy starting acting up, must have been that bean I had before I got here, straight to the bogs, Christ! There upstairs, well here goes.
After I had laid what appeared to be on par with the cable that electrocuted jaws 2, I noticed the smell was even making my own eyes burn, so I waddled out of there sharpish, squeezed passed some old geezer on stairs, didn't envy him.
Sat back down at table... Ebdon and elphick turned up, said they couldn't stay as there was a problem with the carpet shampooer, it had misfired!
After I left I noticed some comotoon at back of restaurant, and then an ambulance turned up. Turns out it was the old man who I passed on the stairs. R.I.P
Read in the paper that he died of The Bends!
13 Jan 2011 22:35
I love this pub, won't be spending the evening but I am getting a pre new years snack on in here, know the chef, and he has prepared just for me;
Cavier dumplings deep fried in a Stilton tempura
Yard of pate
Three bottles of chateau neuf du fant
Hoisin crispy owl on a blanket of fluffy ruffs
Eighteen shots of belvedere, followed by a pint of piping hot cheddar
I X metre of mystery meat
Old speckled hen
Spittoast bonobo smeared with squid ink
Wind of the willows - contents of toad hall baked to perfection
8 litres of pepsi
And finally
Fantacide- third world infant human being stuffed with orange zest and poached in apple cider
They always accomodate me at the boat house... First class
31 Dec 2010 16:18
Hello buddy, well I have been invited to abaya, new years eve, mate of mine has promised to set me up with a hostess from Iberia air in exchange for boat, not too keen on their airline, they made me buy two tickets last time, big bones I guess, anyway am looking forward to going here, great bar, friendly staff, good times for all
Hello buddy.
31 Dec 2010 14:41
The Slug and Lettuce, Weybridge
Hello buddy, Agree with zany - plastic pub plastic people, even thin people find it hard enough to mingle in this place, poncey unwelcoming venue, twon took me here once, they are all mummies boys and daddies little princesses, and they only bought out 8 of the nine courses I ordered, not impressed, I miss you twon, by the way if your reading this wonga; you still owe me for that topped out 87% peruvian. Whenever you can mate I'm trying to pay off this recent gut work I had done, hello buddy
28 Dec 2010 18:50
Hello buddy, That should have been poupon smeared not potion, hello buddy
28 Dec 2010 18:21
Hello buddy,Went in here looking for a guy called crazy dave, he owed me a monkey for boat, apparently snuffed it ironically with a monkey on his back,hello buddy, so whilst in here I had executive set menu A - G, when I arrived at ashford St peters. Doctor told me as they were going to open me up again, they might as well install a zip feature for easy access in future. Apparently my liver is like potion smeared foie GRAS, hello buddy.
28 Dec 2010 18:19
Hello buddy, went here for a night out with gekko/antoine/twon anyway he left me in lurch when he saw my insides interfering with my outside. Massaged them back in. But twon left with the staple gun, so landlord heat sealed my hernia with the breville out back, stang a bit... Three chickens and a coke later and I'm right as rain. Hello buddy.
28 Dec 2010 18:05
It's a harvester not a pub and it's on ottershaw not chertsey can I have three fried chickens and a coke please
28 Dec 2010 17:52
Hello buddy, went to this pub whilst waiting for my mates to turn up had some boat I wrapped especially for them I always rewrap there boat, just for quality control reasons,
Whilst there I thought I would get something to snack on,
One pheasant, stuffed with Irish clams smeared with loganberry compot
Yard of ale
Lobster soup, chicken broth and soup of the day quick was a combination of the lobster soup and chicken broth
Yard of grey goose
Shepards pie with a roof top of 24 day matured sirloin steaks
Yard of Fanta
Chefs special "big bird goes to the taxidermist" - turkey stuffed with chicken which itself is stuffed with 3 quails
Yard of gin
No time for pudding, besides by that point all the m&m's had melted in my other hand. Met up with wonga and Ebdon, gave back the DVDs he lent me " ladies that don't" and ankle madness 5
28 Dec 2010 17:41
The Crown Hotel, Chertsey
i tell you summing for nowt.... must have been tony's day off the other sunday, went here with some silly bird who gotta herself knocked up by my pearly spooj. i thought i would treat her to a cod almighty. wish i hadnt, got served by that silly blond tart with the flock of seagulls hairdo. 'king well rude she was. after i politely ordered the food she threw the numbered wooden spoon at me and squawked "theyll bring it over."
not all bad in there, the young guy in charge that day was quite polite, if he didnt have a beard i could have sworn it was a big cuddly dyke, but as it was, it was like looking in a 'king mirror..... ello mate?
26 Jan 2012 19:44