please note - reviews on this site are purely the opinion of site visitors, so don't take them too seriously.
Back in the day, this pub used to be my local and I was sorry to see it close, hence glad to find it open again. I was immediately disappointed, however, with the way it has morphed from a good old-fashioned boozer (complete with visits from George Best and Tom Baker) to a noisy, uber-trendy gastro-bar with no real ale. I have to be careful because with its evident popularity, one could say that 100 people can't be wrong but after reading some of these reviews I'm inclined to think that maybe they are wrong, after all. Fortunately there are two or three more traditional pubs around which evoke the Chelsea that we remember and love.
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The Worst Pint in London?
Time is precious, and I am busy, and yet I have to write this post. This pub is so awful I cannot even begin. I have know it for many years, as a "trainee drinker" and for many years since. It was left to languish for many years empty, shortly after George Best left for good.
It was re-invented about a year ago, and not the for the good. I went in last weekend and asked for a shandy - my drink of choice these days. They didn't have any cold lemonade, only in a schwepps plastic bottle - not even a squeezy tap.
One of the "barmen" tried to pour some lemonade into a glass with some ice in it - which was not going to work... so I was offered some lemonade from a "bottle form the fridge - but it is going to cost a lot more...." to which I said "nuts to it - I'll have a straight pint".
2 pints of Peroni arrived without so much as an apology, only they were DOA - not a bubble in sight - �9.
I said , "these are flat" - the "barman" said "...can't be - we just changed the barrel..." no apology, nothing...
I made a scene and the manager appeared, and said, "oh, the gas must have run out.. we'll change it.." again no apology, as if I was making the problem....
We proceeded into the garden to be over-watched by some security, apparently to stop punters form losing the licence as residents had complained about the place.
I was actually one of the people who lobbied for the pub to be saved from being turned into a house, but you know what, it no longer serves the local community, has the worst service I have come across for a very long time and am afraid that this incarnation of the Phene's wonderful history should be put to bed.
Do not visit this pub on any occasion unless you are trying to pick up a serious brass, or can't bothered to travel more than a few extra yard to another pub such as the Cross Keys. Terrible!!
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What you experienced here is becoming common practice all over the UK. Thanks to New Labour's so-called "liberalisation" of the Licensing Laws which, as was the intention, let the public gain an external control over the operation of licensed premises, via local councils.
A licensing regime which had functioned cheaply and efficiently since Tudor times was replaced by bureaucratic hotch-potch of Byzantine complexity and crippling expense; a potentially corrupt system whereby Local Licensing Committees, ever mindful of voter power, ever mindful of their cushy jobs, are easily bullied and intimidated by even one determined resident, or bought-off (perish the thought) by one cash-rich property developer!
My view is, things will only get worse until such times as we drinkers take matters into our own hands and force a showdown. To borrow a slogan from elsewhere... Just say NO.
I had a similar experience out side a pub recently. I was sitting outside a Hampstead back-street pub, quietly minding my own business, when a burly barmaid came marching up to me and ordered me back inside; it was, as she told me, a condition of the pub's license. It was 8 in the evening, the sun was still shining and the birds were still singing. I politely declined her orders. "I'm NOT going indoors, and what are you going to do about it? You can't throw me out, since I am already out. Are you going to call the police to come and throw me IN? Hmmm?" End of argument. Come on guys and gals... get organised, it has to be done!
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Pretty odd place this. Went for a birthday party there and really feel the need to comment on their policy regarding the outside area.
It was a nice evening weatherwise and we were ouside in the courtyard. At about 8:30 a couple of blokes came round and said we'd have to go inside in 15 minutes unless we had a seat. Also from about 8:00 we were being told to keep it down. Beers had been drunk but I wouldn't say we were being that loud, and it wasn't consistent.
So at 8:45 we went in, the bar was obviously packed and staff are a 50/50 mix of earnest decent barmen and utter incompetents.
If you want to go outside for a smoke you have to go to a cordoned area within the courtyard yet surrender your drink inside. I went outside to the street to take a call, when I lit up I was made to stand in the smoking area. You're made to feel guitly for just perfoming basic pub activities; drinking and talking.
By about 9:30/10:00 anything ouside above a whisper gets you a stern talking to.
I don't know why they bother with an ouside bit in the evening. I'm not sure if it's because it's a wealthy NIMBY area or just that the management are treating their customers with contempt. Either way I won't be going back as it would only be a below average pub anyway.
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Why is this place still marked as closed its been open at least a year judging by the latest comments and bad reviews people have given it.
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Words can't actually describe just how unpleasant drinking at this pub is.
We bought 30+ young professionals in there 30's to this place for a mid-week after-work birthday drinks and were treated like dirt.
Militant security (fun-police) swooping down to tell customers off every time they laugh, a ridiculous no standing rule in the courtyard enforced with gusto and generally being made to feel like a disobedient child (even though you are paying $15 for two drinks) does not a pleasant evening make.
A suggestion guys; if you are that worried about your neighbours just don't have a courtyard! If you continue to treat grown adults like this you'll be closed in three months. There are plenty of other places to drink in Chelsea! I will never drink in this establishment again.
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Terrible. Food was expensive and unpleasant. Drinks and beer are very expensive. The outside area has plenty of space and is nice in the sun, but the attitude of the pub's security guys ruined the whole afternoon.
There were three of them patrolling the area making sure no one was making excessive noise - it was like drinking in a prison. My friend was twice asked not to laugh as loudly as it was disturbing the local residents - and this was at 6pm on a sunny April afternoon. I appreciate it must be annoying for those living near by if the garden is noisy late in to the evening but this was just way over the top, and additionally the security guy was extremely rude about it. The rest of the bar staff were helpful and pleasant however.
Toilets were smelly, uncleaned and had pools of urine on the floor - not acceptable for a place that is charging such prices.
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Simple - this place is now a restaurant rather than a pub.
Key problem = In the summer, you'll get kicked inside the restaurant/ pub early in the evening because the area is residential
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My sister took me here in November as it used to be one of her 'locals'.
It is not a pub any more. There was nowhere to sit. Two almost hostile men occupying a table for four refused to let us sit on their table and another huge table for eight had a reserved sign on it.
We asked behind the bar and we were 'allowed' to sit on the big table. Although we were hungry we looked at the food being consumed by a family of four and decided it looked pretty hideous! Judging by the prices on the menu it was also very poor value.
On one wall with loads of books to attempt a 'library' effect there was a huge television screen showing a picture but no sound.
Every designer has a right to cobble together a bad interior but this one was abusing the privilege!
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Now reopened as the Phene. Beer is pricey and fizzy. cocktails are pricey but not bad. Garden outside is good if rather 'designer'. Menu looked good if pricey (you see recurring the theme here?)
Not my choice of local but you could do worse (e.g. Henry J Beans).
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Reopening soon fellas !!!
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My last visit to the Phene was three months spanning through 1968/69 in those days it was a fabulous refuge away from the Kings Road Discos.
You could sit down and have a pint with anyone and start a conversation, I met 'Bomber Harris' there one evening.
If you say what it is now maybe I'll give it a miss.
My rating is based on 1969
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CLOSED - ADMINISTRATORS PLEASE UPDATE THIS WEBSITE
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Nope! We were not all wrong. It's closed! (The battleship has sunk)
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I agree with everybody else - this place is not half as good as it was - we can't all be wrong can we ?
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Went there once in 2003 and what a find, an ordinary boozer in Chelsea, no wonder it was a favourite of George Best. Regretably I've read in the press that the Phene has had a refurb, Time Out readers must be relieved at the prospect, not me.
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Only went there a couple of times before it's refurb and it was very pleasant. The only really good things here now are the garden, which is a very nice respite from the hurly burly just up the road (Kings Road). On cooler days or nights there are the heaters to keep you warm. I say this because I'm afraid I agree the interior of the Phene is d u l l. No ambience at all and even worse since they put a TV in there. And the service at the bar is so slow, nice people, but absolutely no idea of how pub service should be.
Food was good though.
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Refurb sucked the soul out of this one. It is a sad empty grey room.
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I did like the Phene as it was. Due to the size of the place I think a bit more care could have been taken with the "refurb". Perhaps the agressive builder types who did it up where a bit perplexed at the loss of their boozer.
Battleship grey is so nineties dear.
Three people can't work behind that bar especially when thy're not sure what they're doing. I was told they didn't accept Euros when I presented them with a tenner. That's a first for me I tell you.
HR Owen are doing a roaring trade in Chelsea tractors by the amount parked outside the place. I can't swear on this posting which is a shame as there is a great oppertunity to tell a variation on the old what's the difference between a hedgehog and a Range Rover. The third addition being the new Phene.
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This place can only be described as a tragic love story turned sour. Years ago I had a very passionate relationship with the Phene, sharing good times and bad with its patterned, ale soaked carpet and authentic pub looks, but now i no longer recognise her. She has been replaced by a silicon enhanced slag of an establishment that considers burgers served on square plates with not many french fries acceptable. Struth!
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A very pleasant Chelsea boozer for a reasonably quiet pint. The pub is tucked away from the Kings Rd, so not too much passing trade, only those who are 'in the know' about this excellent place and locals. Lovely for a bit of people watching in the beer garden on a warm summer evening.I think the new decoration inside is quite stylish!
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An Aussie that worked at a hotel just around the corner. I had some great nights at the Phene with George Best and friends.. Plus the bar staff are hot, especially that Croatian guy...
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Look you!
Just because the Phene is no longer full of aggressive builder types, the colours a bit bland, and the bar maids don't speak a word of English dosen't mean its a bad pub.
Since you lot have all left things are really looking up. Plus the only reason you describe the girls as 'wanabee models' is because they wouldn't pull some slobbering fool like you! Am I right.
anonymous - 14 Dec 2004 14:41 |
This pub used to be one of the best in London , now it resembles a
tacky German Brothel. The service is
non existant --Its now full of public school hoorays & wanabee models. The Garden is still very pleasant though.
KEVIN - 13 Sep 2004 20:39 |
A word to the barmaid - when a customer appears could you serve them & stop chatting to friends on the phone - that grumble aside 6/10 & good beer garden
PAUL - 16 Aug 2004 12:59 |
This pub used to be a gem. Redecoration ruined it. I've been in there once since, it's very sad. The criminally tasteless redecoration hasn't attracted new customers, it's still the old hands, sitting there bewildered in a monotony of characterless grey. Sad really. Pubs like this one used to be should be listed.I'll never be back.
Paul - 18 Jun 2004 13:26 |
Why are you obsessed with george best?-he is not the mark of a fine local. I know hes a drinker but...this place is nice easy and laid back, very nice ion the summer and worth a visit with friends.
Lord Suffer fools not so gladly - 26 May 2004 20:16 |
This pub has been RUINED. The beer (no real ale) is flat - the pub is flat - the colour is flat. Its only saving grace is that it has a garden.
Steve - 18 May 2004 11:39 |
Tucked away down a beautiful georgian terrace,this small corner pub is a true chelsea set drinking establishemnt.Used to be a traditional pub frequented by george best,now it has been painted battlship grey inside and turned into sloane type champagne bar full of plasma screens.Worth including on your site.
Nick Hamer - 22 Apr 2004 15:57 |
