please note - reviews on this site are purely the opinion of site visitors, so don't take them too seriously.
This place is now called the Hill Top Tap. The CAMRA website had the pub listed as a 9am opening. Google has it as 10:30. Guess what, at 10:40, it was still closed. The proprietor did come out to ask why I was standing in his entrance sheltering from the rain and all credit to him, he said he would try to get the times changed. Good luck with that. I've yet to find a website with reliable pub opening times. There may be a gap in the market. Needless to say, when they opened at 11am, I was the only customer. Sharp's Doom Bar is the regular beer. The guest was Harvey's Sussex Best Bitter. But to my surprise, they also had 5real ciders - Gwynt y Ddraig Black Dragon, Thistly Cross Whisky Cask, Rich's Legbender & Lilley's Mango Cider & Apple & Blackberry cider. Frustratingly they are billed as craft ciders and given an appropriate price mark-up. It is however a friendly place, where there is an emphasis on providing TVs for sport. I would return if ever in Sidcup again.
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Went into the Portrait last night. The first time in about three years. Still an awful place. Had one beer and left. Beer was okay but the pub was full of posers and the music being played was awful. Went to the Tailor's Chalk - a far better pub. I'll never go to the Portrait again. There are far better pubs,
Boyne - 16 Apr 2015 11:26 |
And Lilyput's comments - whether illiterate or not - are yet another example of someone registering to post just one 'out-of-step' glowing review, which is why I treat it with suspicion.
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Have just read the comments made by Lillyput in May, 2010. Poor spelling and grammar. Sums up the intelligence of most of the people who drink in the Portrait. No wonder I stopped going there.
Boyne - 24 Apr 2014 13:36 |
It's years since I've been in the Portrait. Is it still full of teenagers and posers? If so, will avoid.
Boyne - 23 Apr 2014 16:18 |
Have been in the Portrait a few times in the last couple of weeks ago and found the place to be soulless. The beer is well kept and the staff are friendly and efficient. Also has Sky TV. I think the soulless nature is due to some of the staff in there - create a boring atmosphere. Was in there recently to watch a game on TV and left at half-time as the atmosphere was boring. Went to Ye Olde Black Horse to watch the second-half: a much better atmosphere.
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My sisters and I were at the Portrate Thursday lunch time as it was my sisters birthday,we were only going to stay for one and then move on,in the end we stayed and ordered lunch,we all had a differant meal and I must say my fish and chips were lovely, the fish was the best I had tasted for a very long time and my sisters enjoyed there meals to infact we didnt leave til gone 5, we will be returning, actually we are coming on a Saturday morning for Breakfast. We sat at the back on the sofas and said what a comfortable afternoon we had had so thank you very much to your staff that were on duty,
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oh dear!?!
this place has turned into a top shop casting session on a saturday night! no wonder they have such plebs working the doors and the bar.
i wonder how these types of pubs survive taking college cards for id from kids really?
oh well, at least i know i wont bother ever going back to a place i used to drink before i was actually legally allowed to...
good luck to em!
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It is not up to customers to consult soccer fixtures as public houses are there to sell food and drink. They may also supply other entertainment like sport on TV or a quiz night etc. but their main function has remained the same for centuries. If soccer is the main concern for people rather than the overall enjoyment of the community then maybe they should go to a soccer ground! Novel idea I know, in this day and age but that is what they are there for. In the meantime I shall continue to enjoy the newly refurbished Portrait with it's wider selection of ales and a good menu.
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Pretty terrible in all honesty, the sort of place where evry single good seat is taken even if the place is a third full. In the booths especially, all you hear is groups of people shouting at eachother and young-ish girls caterwauling about something or other. I know this sounds miserable, but Sidcup truly is an appalling place to have a drink and this is a prime example. Roll on this much talked about Wetherspoons.
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Interesting comments by Betterdayz2004. I was in the Portrait to watch the last England pub and as would be expected the pub was very busy. Annoying to those who don't like football but as not everyone has Sky or Setanta at home so where else can they watch the game except in a pub. Perhaps those who go to a pub for a quiet and relaxing night should check the football fixtures. Saying that, why doesn't the pub management move the TVs into the lower part (i.e. nearer the street) of the pub? That would prevent punters standing on the staircase; those wanting a quiet meal can sit in the upper part of the pub.
As for the variety of beers, the bitters and ales change on a regular basis. Betterdayz, perhaps you should switch from lager.
Boyne - 29 Oct 2008 20:57 |
this pub has many minor flaws, some which could be quite easily fixed. firstly is the lager on tap; it's a case of 'same old, same old' fosters, carling and stella. WHAT a choice..if you want variety, it comes in a bottle, and blimey, is there a variety. With about 7 or 8 bottled lagers to choose from, you're looking at around 3 quid a bottle, which is madness. guys, you need another couple of draft lagers, perhaps peroni or san miguel or becks or..you get the picture. i used to go here a lot but i last went in when england football game was on and it was ridiculous, people everywhere, standing in the gangway to the toilet, on the stairs. this pub just simply doesn't have the room for it, and if you wanted to eat while this game was on you could forget it, how could you possibly relax to eat with all this going on? staff are ok, you get what you expect from them; your drinks. i don't know what people want on here from bar staff? a kiss and a cuddle, thanks for buying a beer from your minimum waged server and staring at my tits?! last comment, i believe, is unfair from user. there has been a new menu introduced which i have found to be rather satisfactory, if a little poncy. my advice is to pop in, try again. but i wont be seeing you there. not while football is on anyway..
anonymous - 27 Oct 2008 20:28 |
Went in today and had lunch, not very impressed at all. My portion of French fries were for a child, the special burger was dry and undercooked, the bun being twice the size of the meat. Oh woe is me. Perhaps the chef has moved from the Horse and Groom.
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Some very interesting reviews. Not one to drink bitter at all, and lager only occasionally, I can't comment on how often it's available.
I like the landlord and his wife, but although I've been in here quite a bit in the past, one thing to note is their absence, it's happening more and more, and generally, their staff are quite poor, aside maybe one of the girls.
The food is 'OK', sometimes the portions are a bit stingy, although I know this is more to what they're probably told to served.
The comments about the age of the regulars is very true, and is the main thing that puts me off having this as a local, as apposed to the Alma.
Sorry to the landlord/lady, but as much as I think you're a nice couple, you don't spend enough time in this pub. I know you run another one elsewhere, perhaps you've taken on too much!
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This place is falling apart rapidly. It used to serve 4 well kept hand pump beer but the quality is going down hill and the staff are poor. On my last visit there was typically 20 minutes wait and the place was only half full.
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This is a long and narrow pub, tv at far end for the footie enthusiasts. The seats were fastened to the floors, so you had to squeeze into them, and being a corpulant type of person, my belly was stuck against the table, very uncomfortable and not a place for me to hang around, or should I say sit around.
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I really enjoy this pub all through the week & weekends. Yes it does get packed & lots of young students at the weekend but that's great to see them all enjoying themselves without having pumping music in the background. Shows the art of conversation is not dead! I always see the landlord & landlady working & that's great to see. As per the comment's made in April maybe Tom was on his hols? I think they deserve a break they've definitely got a hard job. I'm nearly 40 & I'll be returning to the pub, as I have done for many years now. See you there!
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This Pub is not very good... its full of chis and sid school kids i went in to watch the football the other day and i fight kick off with serveral people throwing punches... memebers of the pubic and one elderly man and to break these kids up... the manager Tom is a disgrace!! he has no controll over his staff of the customers!!!
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Lovley boozer very chilled layed back atmosphere whilst at the same time is extremley trendy. Used to drink a while back every friday with a group of 8 friends and we loved it there good food , television showing various sport but it is one of the best pubs to have a quiet drink in great place to have a chilled friday night. I think it would make it slightly better if they maybe played a bit of music then it would be perfect in my books.
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I'm a big fan of Smith & Jones pubs. The Portrait is a much-needed, fairly recent addition to Sidcup. Reasonably-sized on two levels, TVs showing live sport & a mixed clientele: a proper modern-day community local that serves the younger & middle-aged crowds alike.
The food menu is interesting & good value & there is a well-stocked bar including 4 rotating real ales; the excellent Archers & Westerham breweries are represented here more often that not & for me that is a draw in itself. However, the quality can vary & they are a bit slow to switch over when one runs out. All in all though, a very good pub. Wouldn't mind them turning the recently-deceased Bell in Bromley into one of these...
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Started going in The Portrait on a Friday night a few weeks back having given it two or three chances when it first opened. I say two or three chances because the real ale was a lottery - on occasions it was either badly kept (for which there is no excuse these days) or not on at all! Nowadays the ale seems to be better kept although the choice has tended to be limited. The pub seems to go on forever out the back, so it swallows up punters easily. The majority of staff and a lot of the clientele are easy on the eye and its not hard to strike up a conversation. There was some trouble in there on our first visit but it was well handled by the landlord. Being non-smokers, we limit our visits there but that will change next summer - having experienced smoke-free pubs in Ireland, we can't wait! Oh and the soundproofing of the ceiling was well documented in the local press when The Portrait first opened, it was known by other than the staff past or present. I can't vouch for the food but prefer to eat where its not so smoky anyway - hopefully this will soon be the case!
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OK, it gets really busy Thursday till Saturday in the evening so you may have to wait for a beer but if they had any more staff they would be falling over themselves! A well run, well kept house, that is the best in Sidcup at the moment in my opinion.
anonymous - 15 Dec 2005 17:36 |
portrait is what it is. its great for midweek drinks, the birds are nice and haven't all got sticks up their arses like the silly tarts at the queens head. tom the manager is a legened and has let me off on many a ban-able acasion. foods good, bar staff quick and friendly. piss's over the rest of the hell holes in sidcup.
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Used to be okay when it first opened, but then my brother had his mobile phone nicked one saturday night. Funny thing is it was an old nokia phone (brick) with only 30p left on it. Some lost soul must have been desperate to phone home that night.
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perfect for a mid-week drink. never any aggro. great staff. and its full of nice birds.
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This is the best pub in Sidcup! Quite cheap for the area with good deals on doubles and wine, great food (really really nice) and the land lord/lady bar staff are really nice!
nicole :D - 2 Nov 2004 21:43 |
it's good, lesbians galore, fit ones too
rob - 7 May 2004 15:34 |
Great place. Great bar staff. Great landlord. Great beer. Music is a little quite, but makes a change to Lloyds or Yates in Bexleyhealth or the Hogshead in Sidcup. Sidcup is not the best place to go for a beer but even at 9pm on a friday night... you'll be glad you went!! 10/10.
Sean - 9 Mar 2004 18:27 |
i think this is a wicked pub if you want a quiet drink to get you ready to go on to sumwhere. its nice and comfortable.and its quite cheap! bit like a wetherspoons or queens head if youve ever been there!
hottie - 15 Feb 2004 16:40 |
Aaron, why would you (sorry!) I mean the pub staff say quote "Probably the best pub in Sidcup. Not that there's an immense amount of competition." Because the pubs are pretty poor in Sidcup and your pub is just as bad. Maybe you should come back to school with me then. Your grammar is as bad as your retorts.... To anyone who cares then enjoy the Portrait... if you're really desperate. You never know, you might get to meet interesting Aaron. If you're lucky that is.
Jim - 3 Feb 2004 23:07 |
Jim, I'm not bar staff, I know that stuff because I talked to the landlord. You know, talking to people? Being sociable? Why would the pub's staff write this:
"Probably the best pub in Sidcup. Not that there's an immense amount of competition."
Guess someone else is not bright as they can't read a whole paragraph. Poor guy, should go back to school with a great pub you're right, just the best of a bad lot in Sidcup.
Aaron - 2 Feb 2004 16:02 |
I think the bar staff have obvoiusly posted the last comment. How on earth do you know about the neighbours or what they did to the ceiling.
This is not a great pub, it is an ok pub that is quiet during the day & full of teenagers at the weekend. Its ok, but not great. The staff aren't too bright either, as you may have noticed...
Jim - 21 Jan 2004 18:10 |
Nice little pub, used to be an antiques shop, now a Barracuda pub, a bit pricey considering the area but comfy, good atmosphere, seems to always have quite a few people in there, whatever the day of the week. The gay couple who created Rainbow lives upstairs and complained about the noise so the ceiling had to be extended by a couple of inches. Which took about quite a while and cost about 50 grand supposedly. Probably the best pub in Sidcup. Not that there's an immense amount of competition.
Aaron - 9 Jan 2004 01:07 |
