The Lamb, Newport

Shithole

10 Jul 2011 17:19

John Fielding, Cwmbran

A wonderful pub. Perhaps Desmond Morris would care to have a look at some of its patrons. Only last night I witnessed a crazed, red faced, steriod fuelled maniac clad in a lovely polo shirt screaming inchoerent insults, jumping up and wildly gesticulating in the direction of a young girl, who i believe ad the misfortune to be his "lover". The police were called. Again. He was asked to leave after "starting" on another lad, but was allowed to hang around outsude menacingly by pub staff, eyeballing innocent boozers such as myself and my comrades.
This is symptomatic of a pub that in the las few years has been mentioned in connection with untimely deaths in local newspapers.
I can't remember a night I have spent in this establishment on a weekend that hasn't thrown up at least one dramatic, if highly amusing, incident of mindless drink inspired lunacy from chest beating neanderthals. It truly is an experience to be cherished.
If only it was the clientele that were the only problem. I understand that a pub cant really be responsible for the sea of souls it allows in to drink themselves into a stupor and cause violence themed problems for the paying punters around them.........
Then we move onto the service in this watering hole. It sucks. If you get there at 8pm on a Saturday, you MAY get served before 9pm. Dont quote me on this, because I have on occasion given up and relocated at the low rent Bowlplex bar over the street. I have had the dubious pleasure of buying a pint only to be told seconds later that i have to drink it immediately and GET OUT.
Unfortunately John Fieldings is the only pub in Cwmbran Town Centre, which means all of teh scummy inhabitants of my home town are drawn to it like moths to a flame. Or more aptly like Zombies to a shopping mall. If you have an interest in anthropology it is a very worthwile place to attend. Just make sure you have a helmet, some fags to calm down the psychos, and a mobile phone to call the rozzers when it inevitably kicks RIGHT off.
Thanks Spoons. Thanks for all the fun. Thanks for making my eyes more nimble, in having to avoid the steely glare of tattooed madmen. Thanks for sharpening my hearing to an extent where i can hear "what the f**k is he smiling at" from over twenty yards.
It IS cheap though.........

10 Jul 2011 16:40