The Selkirk, Tooting

Why is the Selkirk always a disapointment?

After spending 5 years in Tooting and spending 5 years avoiding the pubs in Tooting like the plague and heading to Clapham and Balham, I thought I would get a group of 5 friends together for a Bank Holiday lunch and a few pints in a beer garden.

3pm. 5 minutes in, drinks memorised and taste buds watering at a great 12pm-10pm menu - I wait a few minutes at the bar with the guy in front of me ordering food. Then when I get served I receive the news that the kitchen is closed for an hour. End of conversation. Eh? Sorry...oh right...so i'll tell my mates that in fact we should have gone to Clapham instead of wasting our time in a pub that I wanted to give one last chance to. How can I break the news that we need to trapse through Tooting and go to another 4 pubs than dont serve food...

What would have been nice is "Sorry, the kitchen is closed even though this is not listed on the menu but its an hour wait so lets get you guys some drinks and then when it re-opens youll be first served. because as 500 pubs close down in the South every month we really value guys spending �100 plus in the on-trade."

But nothing of the sort. So money still in pocket we jump on a bus and drop �100 in Earsfield at the Leather Bottle where the BBQ is fired up and the staff are helpful and Young's seem to have got it just right.

So, the moral of the story is:
1. A hungry group of people don't take kindly to suprises - consistency is king
2. SW12/SW17 pubs are still a million miles away from proper gastro pubs - try Fulham and Chelsea
3. If a pub has home made scotch eggs on the menu then are are nearly always not available
4. Get a house with a big garden, buy a load of booze from Bargain Booze and watch more pubs go under

Cheers

31 Aug 2009 19:03