The Schooner Hotel and Restaurant, Alnmouth

I have never written a review for anything before and I hate to complain but I feel that the Schooner just left me with no choice. Where to start....

We stayed on the nights of the 31st July and 1st August 2009. If we hadn't had to be in Alnmouth for a wedding which meant that the village seemed fairly booked solid we wouldn't have stayed at all having seen the place.

It was �75 a night paid upfront before we'd seen the room (stupid of us I know that now). That price is outrageous for what the hotel is like.

The staff were elusive and seemed to prefer hanging out in a group together having a laugh to actually answering the bell in reception or, heaven forbid, cleaning the place which definitely needed doing - there's a difference between shabby (which is harmless and ok if they warn you) and dirty (which is not).
It is a promising location - nearest to the beach of all the Alnmouth hotels etc and has a good history to exploit but none of this at the moment made up for the avoidable flaws.

If we'd been told it was in the process of being refurbished then general shabbiness would have been ok. Unfortunately it was worse than just shabby decor, it was filthy and slipshod.

Cleanliness and maintenance...
The room door lock was broken (blamed on ghosts but suspiciously seemed more like an old and unchecked lock).
The shower head had a broken wall mount and was rested on the taps - the cleaner MUST have just ignored this.
The bath panel was cracked and mended with cellotape (really). Shower curtain was moldy and damaged. Bathroom skirtings and lino were grubby. The plug socket to the right of the bedroom window had a loose front and was caked in thick dust.
Most surfaces needed a good wipe down (the radiator had a thick layer of brick dust on the top).
The coffee tray was grubby with filth and biscuit crumbs.
In the corridor outside our room (230) the skylight surround was just filthy with dust and spider residue (eurgh).
We reported the lock on the door and then lost the will to keep pointing out the stuff which should be sorted by staff before guests get anywhere near the room..
I gave the room the once over with a damp cloth before we could bring ourselves to use it and it ruined our experience of Alnmouth and we have no plans for a repeat visit now.

Breakfast
The tea is kept in a thermos flask and tasted foul (there is no excuse for not having teapots and making the tea as required 9even the cheapest b&bs we've stayed in had these). The coffee was similarly foul.
Most disappointing of all was that the breakfasts were clearly cooked in batches and kept warm leading to not very warm food and fried egg with a plasticized coating. Breakfast doesn't have to be complicated but it does need to be fresh and well executed.
Again this seemed to be an area where the staff preferred to chat and lark about in the kitchen rather than cooking fresh and reasonable quality food.

I would never stay here again, never, I would camp or sleep in my car in preference (and I'm not a fan of camping). I can't believe how many times I needed to use the word filthy in this review. I really struggle to convey how grim it was.

6 Aug 2009 00:19