BITE user comments - reverendchris
Comments by reverendchris
Sweet baby Jesus and the orphans. Been back here and holy Mary what a place.
So having had to take an "enforced" break (the ba$tards) from my favourite filthy little rumpy pumpy humping house, I thought I'd head back to hardys to see if this place is rammed to the rafters of top grade snatch. Oh lovely boyo, I couldn't be further wrong.
One word sums this place up. Can't think of the word though as I have Alzheimer's. Although I do know I need a shit.
Really, this place should be cast down with the sodomites. There are more genetic mutants drinking in here that at your local nazi-sympathisers genetic human testing lab (otherwise known as The Victory back some years ago).
There's all sorts of genetic mutants. Some very oddly shaped women in their filthy pink leggings and jogging bottoms. People shuffling around like their legs are controlled by dark underground forces. More tourettes than the big brother house on LSD. More autistics than the annual rainman convention. More bad tattoos than millwall.
And the attitude and language. I got told to f*ckoff off and stop asking stupid questions (and that's just by the barmaid when I said could I have two pints of lager).
This is a dark rat infested cess pit of hell that the devil and his dark forces would be proud to drink in.
May the good lord do something to sort this sorry, sorry state of affairs out.
I hope they let me back in the royale standarde soon. I did apologise for whopping out the trouser bishop.
Amen
Rev Chris P Bacon
PS all that said, its a good place to pull if you can put up with the stench
20 Nov 2013 19:00
The Royal Standard, Colliers Wood
Evening fellow pervs. I hear there has been a fresh delivery at that lovely little rumpy-pumpy humping house, the royale standarde. And they are having a speed dating night. So I'm heading there right now to claim what is rightfully mine. Beer, whiskey, pork scratchings, And a fair helping of top grade snatch.! Yes, for tonight's little fandango festival, I have my weapons grade y-fronts on, and my decades old trusty rubber jonny (geronimo) firmly tucked in my top pocket. May the good lord forgive me for what I am about to receive. Eeeerghhh. Hopefully this one will be a hundred hail mary jobby. Eeeerghhh. Even cancelled a funeral service in the morning so it better be good. I'm hoping to be having my own stiff service right then. Eeeerghhh. My trouser bishop is looking up to the angels in the heavens above already. I don't think my sticky little love pumper can take much more, I better get down there.
Eeeerghhh.
Amen
Rev Chris.
30 Oct 2013 18:37
The Royal Standard, Colliers Wood
Evening fellow pervs. I hear there has been a fresh delivery at that lovely little rumpy-pumpy humping house, the royale standarde. And they are having a speed dating night. So I'm heading there right now to claim what is rightfully mine. Beer, whiskey, pork scratchings, And a fair helping of top grade snatch.! Yes, for tonight's little fandango festival, I have my weapons grade y-fronts on, and my decades old trusty rubber jonny (geronimo) firmly tucked in my top pocket. May the good lord forgive me for what I am about to receive. Eeeerghhh. Hopefully this one will be a hundred hail mary jobby. Eeeerghhh. Even cancelled a funeral service in the morning so it better be good. I'm hoping to be having my own stiff service right then. Eeeerghhh. My trouser bishop is looking up to the angels in the heavens above already. I don't think my sticky little love pumper can take much more, I better get down there.
Eeeerghhh.
Amen
Rev Chris.
30 Oct 2013 18:37
The Royal Standard, Colliers Wood
Praise be to the Good Lord God in the Heavens Above on this glorious Easter Sunday!
There has been a fresh delivery at the Legendary Royal Standard!
We're all going to the zoo tomorrow! And we will drink away now there is a fresh delivery!
And Tottenham Hotspur Rocks! Come on you legends!!!
Amen!
Reverend Chris P Bacon
31 Mar 2013 18:51
The Royal Standard, Colliers Wood
laydees! lords! lads! lasses!
a-hump-a-diddly-pump-pump! a rump-a-diddly-pump!
another fine evening spent in the old battleship that is the royal standard last night and boyo, what a night! the place was bangin', heavin', wall-to-wall, trousers-round-yer-ankles, frothy-gash, turnin-japanese totty!!! my poor little pumper were pleasing with my eyes for it to stop!
i ended up with a pint in one hand and me little treacle fountain in the other.
Everyone thought i was wierd.
a-rumpit-pumpit-rumpit-pumpit-rumpit-pumpit-SPLOSH!!!!!!
14 Aug 2009 10:27
The Royal Standard, Colliers Wood
well me laydees and lords, i was there on sunday lunchtime. and they brought a whole new meaning to the phrase "sunday roast".
my god it was a filth-o-rama. there were knickers all over the floor.
27 Apr 2009 12:14
The Royal Standard, Colliers Wood
good lord god Jesus christ and the archangel Gabriel. I'm shocked.
I was in there last night and they now have a "botty totty bang-o-Rama" on a Thursday. When the fella behind the bar rings his bell, all the girls have to find the fattest bloke they can, run to him, and wiggle their bare bum cheeks.
Looking at some of the big lads in there there's some "stiff" competition I can tell you.
Got me stiff as a board anyway.
My trouser bishop has been praising the lord in the heavens above all morning.
Praise be and live long and prosper,
Amen.
Rev c.
24 Apr 2009 17:37
The Royal Standard, Colliers Wood
hallo peeps! mad john from the local kebab shop here.
just spent another fine evening in the wonderful standard and i feel that i must write to tell you about it.
it was luxury. absolute paradise. the lass behind the bad insisted on buying me beers all night long. not only that, but the owner inisisted on wiggling his moustache to the shimes on the clock on the hour. gawd you should have seen him by midnight. twitching all awa the place her was.
anyway, must get on. i've got some barstaff to letch over.
12 Jan 2009 11:21
The Royal Standard, Colliers Wood
Give thanks and praise to the Good Lord in the heaven above!
There's been a frest delivery at the Royal Standard!!!
Heaven's above we salute you!
Amen
Reverent Chris P Bacon
25 Nov 2008 17:10
Back to reverendchris's profile
The Royal Standard, Colliers Wood
Hallelujah praise the lord god Jesus Christ and all the little angels!
Just spent yet another great Sunday in the house of holy worship that is the Royale Standarde. Oh lovely boyo, the good lord in heaven above was smiling on up today, whilst gently strumming on that fat harp of his. Boyo from the valleys, what a day it's been.
Not only have they had yet another fresh delivery, but they had a best-of bang-o-rama, and even ping-pong-ting-tong turned up for a bit of a ding-dong and sing-song. Old ting tong ain't the same since she had to get the glass eyes fitted, but she stank to high heaven just like the old days. This afternoon has had the trouser bishop pleading with me to make it all stop.
Only thing to improve on this is if Tom Jones turns up next times. Oh lovely boyo.
Praise be, good will to all men (especially those from the valleys), and live long and prosper comrades.
Amen
Rev C P Bacon, with the slightly soiled long johns.
PS. It wasn't all good tho, MC 6-0 TH.
24 Nov 2013 23:40